Sunday, October 28, 2012

June

David Gastil
9/21/2011
rights
June
It was 8:15, but the setting sun still peaked between postcard-perfect purple mountains. Across the sky, the fading light cast gold and crimson shadows on the towering banks of clouds blowing in over pine hills from the Atlantic somewhere beyond. Part of Samuel thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Part of him thought it looked like thunder. Whatever June thought, she did not say.

June said very little. One of her slender hands held his own in her firm drummer's grip while the other tapped arhythmically on the bench's metal arm rail. Samuel had noticed this before. When she played with her band, “Natty Britches,” she was like a freight train pounding and sliding forward with angry momentum, but here her tapping was listless and random.

What are you thinking of? He wanted to ask, but was afraid to break the silence. Instead he looked out at the small town park in front of him. Tiny ducklings followed their mother's wake across a stained glass pond. Closer to shore, elegant water lilies shared space with old beer cans and a bag of Cheetos. Then there was the blackish mud, trampled young grass, and his own muddy white sneakers, old jeans. He was wearing a vintage Pink Floyd shirt – still in good condition except for a hole in the armpit he hoped June hadn't noticed. For her part, June was wearing black converse, old jeans, and a Clash shirt. Had they always dressed alike? When they'd met maybe she'd been more of a punk or maybe he'd been less of one. 

“A man fighting a walrus,” she said. He turned to look into her ruddy oval face and followed her mascara-rimmed brown eyes back to the clouds.

“There,” he said pointing to a big gray storm cloud. Spot the cloud. It was a game they played, though it was getting too dark for it. “Swordfish in a top hat.”

They went on like that until the sun was gone and the clouds had become as dark and formless as black wool. Then they just made things up. “Puff the Magic Dragon,” “Your brother's neckbeard,” “sudden romance.” Samuel gave a little inhale of surprise as June kissed him hard on the nose, then the lips. They went on like that until the wind picked up and brought with it a sudden chill and the smell of wet pines. Reluctantly, they gathered themselves and plodded back to June's battered ochre Subaru.

They made it inside just as the first rain started and, wordlessly, June began the winding drive back to town. June's warm face was tight with concentration as she navigated the accelerating storm, but her right hand tapped the steering wheel. Even as the radio moved from Led Zeppelin's “Kashmir” to Duran Duran's “Hungry Like the Wolf,” her rhythm didn't change. June and Samuel both hated Duran Duran, but that night they didn't even notice it. They were listening to the rain beating the windshield and the distant thunder of the first storm of Summer.

Bituminous

David Gastil
9/28/2011
rights.
Bituminous
“Shave him,” they say. They do. I am. Rough razors on my chest. My back. My scalp. Hoarse, angry, terrified, I shout.

“The king will...” Fist in my gut. Slap in my face. Hiss in my ear.

“The king! You hear that lads? The king, he says. The king is in merry old England eating chocolates and fucking whores. But us, we're right here.”

I wait for help. I wait for justice. None comes. None but theirs. It's no longer safe in the village square.

“Bring the pitch.” The cauldron is brought – wrought black iron flecked with tar. The contents seethe.

Like a fox at bay, I snarl, bare my teeth, struggle in vain. A fist hits my temple. My vision boils. My arms are wrenched wide. I'm brought to my knees. I start to cry. The cauldron's raised high. I close my eyes and scream. Then the pain.

Hot tar flows down my neck. My back. My chest. It burns all it touches and sticks. It floods my britches. Pools in my boots. The traitors are gone. The square is gone. The village. The colony. The King, Earth, and God. Only the pain remains. Savage and pure. Bright and brutal.

I hear them bring the feathers. I hear them jeer. It is the joy of the vicious. The mirth of the cruel. The Devil is laughing, like a king at his fool.

I am surely a sight. Beaten. Burned. Plumed in white.

The brutes parade me like a wretched freak. The villagers stare or glare or throw stones. No love for the taxman. The king's man to the bones.

I was their neighbor, their fellow, their friend.

They dump me in the woods – kick me a few times for good measure. Then, bored, they seek out fresh pleasure. The tar cools on my skin. The scars remain. As does the pain. 

Eventually my brother comes. He and his wife hoist me up. Bring me home. They scrub me raw with soap and brush. I scream. Once. Twice. Many times. My body is racked with long sobs. Finally I see a mirror. My skin is a map of Hell. Gray-black tar still stains much of my body, but can no longer mask the hideous burns. A blue-green-purple patchwork of bruises covers my face and torso. Elsewhere I am red and puffy like a ripe tomato. My feet got the worst of it. My boots trapped the tar.

The next day, Tuesday, my brother brings a doctor from Boston. He treats my burns. Sets a cracked rib. Amputates two toes. They give me whiskey for the pain. I drink half the bottle in two long swigs. Why shouldn't my insides get a chance to burn? My brother drinks with me. We talk about growing up. Life on the farm. Our parents. How we miss them. Nothing about politics. Or what happened to me. Nothing that would show our shame.

Wednesday I am sober. I remember my duty. My brother tells me my home has been looted. I'm not surprised. Just one more injustice. One more grievance to air. My brother loans me clothes. I want to go out, but am too weak.

Thursday it rains. I sit outside in the downpour. I try to wash the stains from my skin. My brother's wife finds me there, swaying gently as I shiver and gasp. She brings me in. Puts me to bed. She holds me there for a long time. Like a mother cradling a sick child. For the first time I call her sister.
Friday I have a fever. I stay in bed all day. My family brings me thin onion soup and hot cider.
Saturday a rock crashes through the window. They tell me it is not the first. I thought they'd leave my brother alone.

Sunday my fever breaks and I am well enough to accompany my family to church. The young preacher speaks of Christ's power to heal and forgive. Of the folly of revenge. What Christ said when the crowd raised their stones. Cold eyes watch me from the pews. I'm grateful to leave the meetinghouse.

Monday I hire a carriage with my brother's money and ride to Boston. The governor's mansion is picketed by crowds. They block my entrance, shouting taunts and hoisting doomed effigies. Before I can retreat to my carriage, someone recognizes me. Strong hands grab the taxman.

“So what will you be?” they ask. “The king's lackey or a true son of liberty?”

I remember what I said last time. What it cost me. What it must have cost my family. “The King of England can no longer rule this land.” They believe me, of course. It's the truth.

My Wrist

My Wrist
A dozen little bones define it
bounded by sinew balanced by blood
blue veins and crimson capillaries

When I was ten I fell in the grass
the green grain concealed stone serrations

I remember red blood and yellow fat
and skin that flared out like torn fabric
six stitches and a tetanus shot
gauze and tape and antiseptic

It was a clean cut and healed quickly
the gauze came off and the stitches out
but the crooked scar etched on my wrist
makes me wonder what would have been
if that rock missed the fat and hit a vein instead

I'm not home

I'm not home
Quit pounding on my door
I'm not coming out.
I hope you bruise your knuckles on the oak.
This is a nice neighborhood
and you make too much noise.
I see you peering through my window,
checking your hair in the reflection.
Do you really leave the house like that?
My lights are on, my blinds are drawn
and the TV's blasting CNN from the den,
but I'm not home, I promise.
Admire my garden, but please,
don't touch the roses --
they cost more than your car.
I see that dinted Korean thing
skulking behind my Lexus.
I see the scuff marks on your shoes.
Your chinos came from Target
and your shirt is soaked with sweat.
Take that clipboard to some other street
I don't have time for your stammered pitch.
Now pull out your two-cent pen
and circle “not home”
before I turn the sprinklers on.