Hope

Falling through time and space
I turn my head and see only thoughts
Fears spiral like colored gnats
And inner demons shriek like bats
I blink my eyes to clear the spots
And splash cold water on my face

No sand lingers in my eye
So why can't I ever seem to wake?
I combed my hair and made my bed
Exactly the way my parents said
How much happiness can I fake?
Even the smallest things make me cry

Maybe I should surrender to my fears
Why don't I just lie down and die?
I think these things everyday
Nothing can make them go away
I really couldn't tell you why
But I've been asking myself for years

I dream of death
And death alone
But my flesh still feels
And my mind still reels
And no matter how I moan
I'm grateful for every breath